I Think My Cat is Trying to Kill Me!

Last December I celebrated my 50th birthday. My husband wanted to get a gift that would have special significance for me. So instead of choosing diamonds or other such baubles, I chose a pair of roller skates. Now I know this is probably not the type of gift every women craves, but I had wanted skates since I was a little girl. So being the fantastic guy he is he bought me some, and I got to learning how to skate.

We are blessed with a home that has lovely wooden floors and rooms spacious enough for me to skate around in, so I assumed – incorrectly it now appears – that this would be the ideal place for me to practice.


While being able to skate at home has it’s advantages,  it now also appears to have it’s disadvantages. On the one hand – or I should say foot – I can practice whenever I want,  on the other it means I have to manoeuvre around my cat. This was not a factor I had taken into account when I imagined myself gliding gracefully around.  You see my cat Lestat is extremely lazy, and I have often thought that a sloth would move more often than his is likely to. Well all I can say is, never underestimate the speed and stealth of a cat that is jealous and is plotting against you. He’s got that killer look in his eyes – kind of like De Niro in Taxi Driver – and I’m beginning to get a little worried.

I suspect Lestat has been watching too much TVLet me tell you, there is nothing guaranteed to cause your life to flash before your eyes quite like having a cat dart out in front you while you’re trying to keep your balance on skates.

When I confronted him about his behaviour he feigned innocence, and actually appeared offended! He’s aware that he’s got me wrapped around his paw so I am clearly at a disadvantage.


Anyway he can pretend all he wants but it’s pretty clear to me that he’s got it in for me – at least when I’ve got my skates on. Anyway I’d better go now because he’s giving me the look, I suspect he knows I’m writing about him. I don’t want to provoke him further. Who knows what he is capable of!


Photo of Robert De Niro from the film “Taxi Driver” Image may be subject to copyright