Rollerskating

I Think My Cat is Trying to Kill Me!

Last December I celebrated my 50th birthday. My husband wanted to get a gift that would have special significance for me. So instead of choosing diamonds or other such baubles, I chose a pair of roller skates. Now I know this is probably not the type of gift every women craves, but I had wanted skates since I was a little girl. So being the fantastic guy he is he bought me some, and I got to learning how to skate.

We are blessed with a home that has lovely wooden floors and rooms spacious enough for me to skate around in, so I assumed – incorrectly it now appears – that this would be the ideal place for me to practice.

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While being able to skate at home has it’s advantages,  it now also appears to have it’s disadvantages. On the one hand – or I should say foot – I can practice whenever I want,  on the other it means I have to manoeuvre around my cat. This was not a factor I had taken into account when I imagined myself gliding gracefully around.  You see my cat Lestat is extremely lazy, and I have often thought that a sloth would move more often than his is likely to. Well all I can say is, never underestimate the speed and stealth of a cat that is jealous and is plotting against you. He’s got that killer look in his eyes – kind of like De Niro in Taxi Driver – and I’m beginning to get a little worried.

I suspect Lestat has been watching too much TVLet me tell you, there is nothing guaranteed to cause your life to flash before your eyes quite like having a cat dart out in front you while you’re trying to keep your balance on skates.

When I confronted him about his behaviour he feigned innocence, and actually appeared offended! He’s aware that he’s got me wrapped around his paw so I am clearly at a disadvantage.

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Anyway he can pretend all he wants but it’s pretty clear to me that he’s got it in for me – at least when I’ve got my skates on. Anyway I’d better go now because he’s giving me the look, I suspect he knows I’m writing about him. I don’t want to provoke him further. Who knows what he is capable of!

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Photo of Robert De Niro from the film “Taxi Driver” Image may be subject to copyright